trust and deceit

After recent events, I began to ponder on the idea of how important trust is in a relationship. It is by far one of the necessary foundations of success that allows growth. Trust is what makes you feel safe and allows you to begin to open up. It is something that forms out of positive actions and faithful occurrences.
But the point is, it grows. It is not convinced, and especially not convinced to make the other party feel they should want to be a part of the relationship.

I know for myself there have been several times I have been in situations where the other side of the relationship felt a need to force a feeling of trust; a forced assurance if you will, and early on for that matter.

When these instances occurred, deep down, in the pit of my gut, that little voice began to whisper.
I did not listen.

Perhaps I wanted to humor the situation. Again.
Perhaps I wanted to see how far one would go to convince me it was a good idea, that I needed to change, or even better to convince me that I needed them.

So it came. And it went; the other individual that is.
The little voice never left. The little voice was whispering the fine line of forced trust and deceit. Deceit is making someone believe something that is not true. Deceit is lying.

I did not cry this time. I only looked back with an ounce of remorse and vanity and grinned.

I walked out in the open air and I listened to the little voice, my soul, as it reminded me who I am and all I have accomplished, where I have been and where it is I am going. It reminded me what I knew all along, that I do not need someone there to feel good about me.

At the end of the day you have to trust yourself.
Trust yourself to go with your gut.
Trust yourself to have faith in you.
Trust yourself to always always remember, you decide who and what makes you feel what way.
Trust that if someone feels the need to make you feel as though you need them,

Their insecurity is at play to bring you down in any way.
Their own troubles invite your doubt for fear that you can live without.
But live without is what you prefer, for its honor in life you deserve.

Knowing Love

www.DETHLOFFDESIGNS.COM

When the nights are lonely, and the breaths are low,
When the world spins fast, and one does not know.

When down is up and up is down,
when your common acquaintance has become a frown.

When sunlight makes you yearn for shade,
and thoughts a thickened path to wade.

Know that love is lingering, always by,
It may seem confident, disguised, or shy.

Know it stays, it never goes,
Reach inside and above though low.

Know that love prevails even when felt lost,
and believe in love no matter what the cost.

Believe in love, be it self or faith,
Believe and breathe, it is worth the wait.

© Jennifer Lee Dethloff 2010

I never promised you a rose garden?

I began to think upon the phrase “I never promised you a rose garden” and its insinuation towards the idea that in a relationship, one is stating that I never promised you that it was going to be perfect. I began to wonder… maybe it is a rose garden that we are promising after all, and in any relationship for that matter.

As I thought of the aspects of a rose garden and the aspects of relationships, I began to see more similarities than differences.

Growth must occur to find who we are and what we are and to thus accept others in their truest form.
Beauty can be found in both tangible and intangible aspects as growth evelops, wilts, and fades to the beauty of laughter lines and misty eyes of a delicate dried decomposing memory.
Thorns are invasive to prick your soul in times of confusion and conflict.
And change. Change is inevitable.

So maybe we do promise rose gardens. They just happen to be more realistic in time.

I will tell you want I do want

I dont want to ask the questions
because I dont want to believe the lies.
I dont want to feel dishonesty
and I dont want to learn to cry
I dont want to wake up restless
and I dont want to feel death’s pain
I dont want the flame to flicker
and I dont want to play the game.

Watch the wind blow and catch the energy,
into your soul and born you will be.

I do want to ask,
and I do believe the lies.
I do deserve the truth,
and I do let weakness cry.
I do want to wake up content.
I do know of death’s pain.
I do watch the flame flicker
I do see reflections the same.

But ask me what it is that i want to see?
Imaginary facts to an endless degree.